id be glad to
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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