On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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