So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
