I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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