my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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