so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
