OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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