he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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