No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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