oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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