can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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