JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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