He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
