guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
