How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
