I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
