a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
