her vagine was all disorganized.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
