This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
