She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
