Just cropdusted the office
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
How's work?
Spinning.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
