I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
