You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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