Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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