i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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