Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
