I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize