and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
