Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
