In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
