So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
