I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Are my feet made of real feet?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You ruined the universe
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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