Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
