I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
It's no shave November. This is our time.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
