He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize
