I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
