update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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