I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My vagina just recognized that song.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
