so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Randomize