Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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