considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
