I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I intend to get homeless drunk
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
