I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
