I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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