we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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