YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
