I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
