you're like a bully in the Christmas story
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
