I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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