two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
