she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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