You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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