never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
