I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
