My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
