I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Are we still banned from the library?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
