Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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