I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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