This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Sorry about my life...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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