As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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