Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
