the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
