i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
