Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
